can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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