Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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