Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

he said he didn't have a condom.

(415): View more from California

and you said?

(510): View more from California

that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

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(716): View more from New York

An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.

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(954): View more from Florida

Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear

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