They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
