And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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