nut hugger
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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