Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
