well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
