You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
