Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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