If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
