so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
