so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
