she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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