I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
