dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
