What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
