cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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