We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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