Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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