what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
