She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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