Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize