grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
