I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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