I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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