Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
