i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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