look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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