Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
At least make sure they are 18
Why
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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