Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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