how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
