Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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