White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
