it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
