ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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