I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
