Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
