i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
