What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
