There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize