Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
