i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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