piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize