I want to have your abortion
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
