Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
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