Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
