take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
