And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
