We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize