I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
