i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
