no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
