Me too!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
