I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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