I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
