I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
