So drunk its hurt
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
