apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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