Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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