hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
