Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
