so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
