ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
