Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
